Bicycles!!! Travel!!!! Adventure...

...all without having to pay these outrageous gas prices. I owe quite a bit of money. I'll start taking care of that. I have to. Don't won't to be involved in any debt in this country.

I'm in love with bicycles. I felt so amazing tonight. Zipping around. Tackling hills, just begging for the downhill coast. Every time I even think about biking a smile spreads across my face. I'm still a noob to the biking world though and I'm eager to learn as much as I can.



I've got two shows back to back today. and I played full band at the bluebird on april 6th. I can't believe people loved it so much. It was so exciting. Although I feel like the employees at the bluebird are jack asses. Entirely rude to us. I'm still very ticked by that. When I turn 21 I don't think I'll give them much business.

I leave in two days!! I can't believe this. I've never seen a mountain. I don't know what to expect from Colorado, or Kansas for that matter!!! Kansas?!? I'll be in Lawrence though so it's alright. I can't wait to go. I just wanna ride bikes. even now. God!!!! I wanna ride bikes all day long. and play guitar and ride and then rest and play guitar and sing to people. I have a dream of cross-country biking. This is all grand of course. But, maybe one day I could. I dunno. I intend to be a nomad for several years and see and live everywhere. I think I'd like to visit new york one day although I feel like I'd stand out like sore thumb and that kind of excites me. I'd definitely go with a friend that could protect me lol. I'm rambling....

OutPost

A waste of time. Blaming myself. Feeling nothing. Investing too much. Tearing down a wall. I've lost my self-control. I've lost myself in someone else. Resting all of my happiness in the lap of another. My greatest mistake. It meant nothing. Some sad regret. A thought that brings aching to my chest. I squint my eyes and try to forget. It could be so easy for you. It is so easy for you to turn away. I hope that you feel this some day. I haven't good rest in days. I haven't felt myself. I haven't been back to normal. I need to keep busy. I need to keep writing. I have a show in two days. Maintain focus. I should really buy some strings tomorrow. My car won't stop over heating. It's making me very upset. I hope it'll be alright. It keeps leaking anti-freeze. I need to find the leak. There's so much that needs to be done. I don't want to keep dwelling on an individual person. My first taste of love. I have to remember that I'm only 18. I feel so old. I'm writing new music. Moving forward I guess

I Was A Lover For a Week

I laid my hand on your forehead and checked your temperature
I kissed your eyelids, kissed the bridge of your nose and fell into a slumber
I ran my hands all along the physical nation that was your body
discovered new land and claimed it for my own

"You belong to me and when you have someone's belongings, you take care of them"

I've been clean from the ole scripts for several months now. I hadn't even thought of it until just now. How easy it has become to say no to those little white pills. It's astonishing really.

I moved to Bloomington a month and 9 days ago. My love flew the nest 15 days ago. I became a half two months and 14 days ago. I will be refreshed in 2 days. I will be a whole in two months and 28 days.

I'm going to Nashville in two days. I can't wait. I got asked to play in the broadripple music festival October 16th. I'll be playing at Indy Cd/Vinyl at 2:00 pm and then at 10:30 pm at the Jazz Kitchen w/mystikos quintet. Should be one hell of a time

Why keep such a huge part of me a secret. There are so many medicinal uses it's not even funny. When my mind gets all out of wack and I start to feel like I'm going crazy, it helps calm me down and think. Those who want to argue the legality and morality of marijuana are people I have no ears for.
Alcohol, this vile and toxic poison, is allowed to be sold and consumed. This vile poison, that creates an avenue for people to behave in such an animalistic and lustful nature, is considered better than a plant? the absurdity is mind boggling. and to think it's legality is based purely off of racism is not so surprising in this nation ran by conservative racists.

Of course, this is all opinion. I understand that it's not for everyone. and I understand all of the dark underbelly that comes with marijuana. But honestly which is worse, a severe drunk...or...a severe pothead? the pot head may be annoying, but the drunk is just downright sad. I'm done ranting about mary jane. No shame in being an advocate of decriminalization.

I should be careful of what I say. If ever I become famous, then everything'll be taken out of context

Spring Fever

Spring Break has come and gone! It was a good time-out from the the monotony of daily life, but insanely, I kind of miss it. I'm looking forward to getting back in school and working. It was nice to be unrestrained, but now it's time to be disciplined. It was so much fun, Saturday night was great, I wrote in my thought book that night: Tonight, I feel alive 4/03/10.

I've been really getting into biking and I try to do it as much as I can. I like to ride to my friend's house. I figure I have to train myself for Bloomington. I have to get used to riding in traffic, but I can't ride at night until I get a reflector jacket. I think I might wear a helmet as well. Why not be safe, you're dealing with cars.

I've completely lost track of time.

I'm playing with Bears of Blue River!! Fucking BEARS OF BLUE RIVER!!! this is huge and Sanuk. Holy shit, these are bands I look up to in the Indiana music scene and they're going to be right in front of me playing, maybe they'll see me play too. A girl can dream.

Slothpop, another band I'm sharing the stage with, is amazing!!! her voice is so damn pure. It never ceases to give me chills. I cannot wait for April 17th. It's going to be life changing

The Mystikos Quintet project is coming along so well, but I'm keeping it under wraps because I don't want to jinx it. I want this to work out, really badly.

Holy Cow! I lost track of time. Time for bed.

Ah!! Like Music in My Ears

I graduate in a few short months and I'm bored with it already. I passed on a full university and decided Ivy Tech would be better for me. I'm moving to Bloomington in the fall and I'm really really excited about that.

My friend Eli and I are planning a self-sustained tour this summer. We've mapped out 17 cities in the states that surround Indiana. I can't wait for this, to get outta here for a few weeks, come back buckle down, get some work done and keep playing shows. That's what i really wanna do, is play music and travel and look out and see people coming to listen to my music and liking it. That'd be the most amazing thing in the world.

I was smoking with my friend a couple nights ago. We'd gone out for a roadie, he'd just bought a sack of Purple Trainwreck, and at 12:45 it was a perfect night for a drive. The snow on the ground was bright white and soft, the sky a soft purplish, and the lack of wind made the 29 degrees, feel like 40. We passed the joint back and forth, talking and laughing, comparing our favorite guitars and on and on.

I kicked back in my seat and he turned the radio up louder. Dave pummeled me into my seat. "Don't drink the water, there's blood in the water!!" My skin prickled. I was pretty high, boarder line stoned at this point. He put on Bitches Brew and i went insane inside my mind, i lost myself in the trumpet. I started thinking about playing music, friendships, growing up and all the worrysome things seventeen year olds think about. The New Year begins in 6 days. I have a feeling it'll be a good year. Merry Christmas.

Indiana: there's no place like home

Indiana. Born and raised. I never knew how "country" people really think Indiana is until i made friends out of state. A friend of mine moved from Conneticut and said he couldn't believe how flat the land was out here. But, Indiana has hills. I live in Avon, a city so small and rural it didn't become a city until 10 years ago. In fact, it was technically considered a village in 1993. My backyard used to be a cornfield up until a year ago, now it's a middle school.

Indiana is absolutely gorgeous to me, yeah, sometimes i'd like to get out and get away and see something other than farms, and corn, and lots and lots of trees, but then other times I couldn't see myself living anywhere else. My bestfriend lives in Osgood which is about an hour and a half southeast of here. There's a total of 1,650 people who live there. It really is a farm community. He lives on an 18 acre farm with three horses, a few duckies, a cow named Norman, some chickens, and dog named Maggie. The last time I stayed with him, we camped out at and went horseback riding with his dad and half his community. People driving didn't even bat an eye lash as we made our way through the back roads in a caravan of horses, donkies, and minihorses.

While riding a cute little beagle joined us on our journey and Dylan's father aptly named him Beagle Dog. "Come on Beagle dog, keep up" I had to be back home that evening to play a show in indianapolis, so we rode the horses back to his home. Again, no one batted an eyelash at the fact that we stopped at a gas station on horse back. On the way home the horse I was riding began to ride a little faster, pretty soon we were flying down the road when my saddle slid down and I was holding onto her mane for dear life. Dylan pulled up beside and tried to hoist me back onto the horse but it was too late. I was down and out and my body slammed like a rag doll. My horse took off and i told Dylan to go catch her. I was alright, a little bruised up but, nothing i couldn't handle. It was a great story and I'll never forget that weekend. it was amazing.

Indiana may be country or hick, or small town or whatever people wanna call it, but i don't neccesarilly think it's a bad thing. some of the nicest people i've met were people in some of the most rural places. Greensburg, Indiana people have tipped me five dollars just for playing guitar on the street. I really am a small town kinda girl. All you stuck up big city folks stay in your big cities.

Manchester Orchestra has quickly become my favorite band. I am itching to see them live. Andy's voice sends chills straight to my bones. Countless times i have sat in the dark and listened to their albums, which is what you have to do with their music listen to their albums. Each one is a piece of a much larger puzzle, the final product being a well rounded mature and brilliant bad. The evolution of MAN is amazing, you can seriously hear them grow up and into their own on each album. I like to compare them with fine wine. They get better and better with each album. Each little ep is a teaser that leaves you anxious for the main course. Listen to them, with each album in order. Spend time with them. listen track by track, get to know each song. You won't be disappointed i promise. They speak to you and make you go, "how the fuck could someone know exactly how i feel and articulate it so well." Amazing band